


thus always to tyrants

by biggayrhys



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Autistic Cisco Ramon, Character Study, Gen, Getting Together, Hard of Hearing Cisco, M/M, Non-Sexual Submission, POV Caitlin Snow, Platonic BDSM, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Queerplatonic Relationships, Relationship Negotiation, Relationship Study, Trans Cisco Ramon, Trans Male Character, this is an ode to caitlin and a love letter to cisco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:07:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23625115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biggayrhys/pseuds/biggayrhys
Summary: Cisco loves like fire. Caitlin won't let him burn out.
Relationships: Cisco Ramon & Caitlin Snow, Cisco Ramon/Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells, Ronnie Raymond/Caitlin Snow
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	thus always to tyrants

**Author's Note:**

> title from the oh hellos song. i'm trans, autistic, and hoh, so quite a bit of this fic is me projecting but like. you can't prove cisco isnt autistic and hoh and trans in canon.

Cisco loves like fire. 

Caitlin knows that, has known it for a long time. It’s one of her universal truths; up is up, down is down, she loves Ronnie, and Cisco will one day burn out. 

Cisco isn’t dangerous, not to anyone but himself, but when he loves someone,  _ really _ loves them, then he would give himself up for them almost unconditionally. Caitlin saw it with the impostor Wells, Thawne. She saw it with Dante. She’s seeing it now with Harry. 

Oh, Caitlin isn’t angry at him, at either of them. It’s just who Cisco is, and Harry can’t help that Cisco fell in love. Cisco has always been like a moth to the flame of the brightest mind in the room, so desperate for someone to  _ understand _ him that he can’t help but get too close to the sun. 

It had happened with their Wells. Cisco had been so excited that someone was  _ on his level _ , that an authority figure recognized his brilliance and treated him with  _ dignity _ that he tripped over himself to do  _ anything _ for him, never once questioning his intentions or slick words. Caitlin was the same way, but she never had the same level of envy-need-loneliness-fear that burned inside Cisco, so deep inside that Caitlin still fights to overcome it some days, so deep that Wells, Thawne, whoever, could wrap his hands around Cisco’s heart and  _ crush  _ it like glass.

Caitlin knows she only escaped that awful intimacy with the faker because of Ronnie, because of her specialty not lying in mechanical engineering, because of a hundred tiny coincidences that saved her from an even deeper grief than she already had. She wasn’t  _ as _ close to Thawne-Wells as Cisco had been, but she had still thought they were family.

Caitlin wishes she had free reign to give Cisco’s family a swift kick in the ass, all of them, for what they’ve done to his self-esteem. As much as she loves him, she can’t be there for him all the time and the impostor Dr. Wells had shattered him. Caitlin spent months carefully putting him back together, one fragile bit at a time, her and her best friend, getting back on her own feet at the same time Cisco mends his broken heart. 

Cisco is on a precipice, and they all know it. 

Caitlin will be damned if she lets a man called Wells break Cisco again. She and Cisco weren’t romantically involved and they never would be, but Cisco was  _ hers _ . Romantic love implied a degree of separation greater than what existed between Caitlin and Cisco; they were just…  _ them _ . Caitlin-and-Cisco. Two halves of one whole. 

Ronnie understood. Not many people did. When Caitlin and Cisco met, it was like two parts of the universe clicked together. Natural. Easy.  _ Right _ . And if Cisco needed a firm hand, or Caitlin needed to be in charge, then Ronnie gave his blessing and it worked. 

When Caitlin lost Ronnie, Cisco held her up. When Dr. Wells betrayed them, they supported each other. And now, with Harry, Caitlin knows she’ll be Cisco’s life raft. 

It begins like this:

Harrison Wells walks through the door. 

Caitlin sees Cisco still like a deer in the headlights, feels herself freeze along with him.  _ He’s back _ , she thinks, before she really looks, and no, he’s different. He carries himself differently, and with Barry vouching for him, she can almost relax. 

She sees Cisco, though. He’s almost trembling with barely-contained anxiety. Caitlin wants to hold him, bring him back to earth, give him what he needs to relax and get some rest. Instead, she moves between this new Wells and Cisco. She knows Wells tracks the movement, but she doesn’t care. Cisco snaps at him. She doesn’t blame him. 

It gets easier from there, kind of. Cisco still can’t look Wells in the eye. Caitlin runs interference between Harry, as Cisco christens him, and Cisco as much as she can until Harry stalks over to her with his rough questions and tactlessness. 

“What’s with you and Ramon?” he demands, looming over her desk. 

She doesn’t look at him. “None of your business.”   
  


Harry scoffs. “It becomes my business when you make it impossible to work with him.”

Caitlin glares up at him. “Cisco is mine to take care of. Has been since before Barry became the Flash. Leave him alone if he’s uncomfortable around you.”

Harry doesn’t seem like he gets it. “I thought you were hung up on that husband of yours.”

She isn’t going to explain her and Cisco and Ronnie to this near stranger. “Cisco and I aren’t your business. What  _ is _ your business is that Cisco can’t even  _ look _ at you without working himself into a panic, and you two need to either figure something out or  _ leave _ because I’m not letting you use your face to take advantage of our trauma.” 

Harry goes to talk to Cisco. Caitlin makes a note to check in with them both later. 

Cisco is sitting in his desk chair, idly fidgeting with a project when she comes in about an hour later. It’s dinnertime, she notices. 

“Cisco, dear?” she says, only continuing when he looks at her. “Come on. Let’s get takeout, my treat. You okay with coming to my apartment?”    
  


Cisco nods. Caitlin bends over to press her palm to his cheek, a wordless act of intimacy they’ve done hundreds of times, and she feels it when he goes stone still, muscles slackening. When he comes back to a moment later, Caitlin’s already worrying.

“What was that? Are you okay?”

Cisco shrugs. “Can we talk about it later?”

Caitlin won’t push him. “Okay, but… you have to let me drive. I can’t have you at the wheel like this, ok?” 

He acquiesces easily. Caitlin drives them both back to her apartment, still a little sparse after Ronnie, and orders Thai takeout. She takes her seat of choice on the sofa, and Cisco kneels for her on a pillow, resting his head against her thigh. She strokes his hair as they wait for the food to arrive in a comfortable silence. Caitlin is tired, and she knows Cisco is too. 

The takeout arrives relatively quickly. Caitlin goes to get it and Cisco grabs plates and silverware. They take seats opposite each other at the table and begin eating. 

Cisco begins to talk between bites of his food. “I’ve been… having visions. Just minor ones, at first, but they’re always of metahumans. The ones Zoom sends.”

Caitlin watches him carefully. He’s looking at his pad thai and his hands are shaking a little, but he seems relatively calm. Over the course of the next fifteen minutes he tells her about each of his visions, his fear that he was going insane, his desire to be normal. 

By the time he’s done, the food is gone. Caitlin touches his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re still you, and nothing’s going to change. Let me clean up the food, and then we can do whatever you need to relax, alright? If you need to be held, I’ll do that. If you want to watch a movie, that’s fine. If you need pain to ground yourself, that’s okay, too. Go kneel by the couch and think about what you need from me, okay?”

Cisco nods and does as she says. He’s a good boy, as always. 

  
  


What Caitlin doesn’t get at first is that Harry loves like fire, too. 

Caitlin knows he’s intense. She has eyes. She just doesn’t immediately realize he has that same intensity when it comes to  _ people _ . 

The oversight is immediately fixed when Cisco vibes Jesse. The magnitude of sheer emotion in his eyes and voice resonates through all of them, especially soft-hearted Cisco and Barry. Caitlin feels for him, of course she does; she’s just worried he isn’t telling the  _ whole _ truth. She has the same feeling about Jay. 

(She likes Jay, she really does. So what if she also wants to keep an eye on him?)

Caitlin is a scientist, and what scientists do best is  _ observe _ . So she watches Cisco and Harry dance around each other, and as she watches she realizes something. 

They’d be good for each other. They  _ are _ good for each other. 

Caitlin has to admit the idea makes her feel kind of strange. On one hand, she wants Cisco to be happy so badly, her kind and bright boy. On the other hand, she worries. Harry will go back to Earth-Two, leaving Cisco brokenhearted, and something about Harry still makes Caitlin suspicious, but she observes in her own quiet way. She watches Harry warm up to Cisco and Cisco shine for Harry, and she knows that whatever  _ her _ feelings on the matter, whatever ball is in play has already begun to roll. 

Caitlin watches as Cisco begins teasing Harry, as their teamwork becomes so fluid and easy they seem like they share a brain, as an ember begins to smolder in Harry that brightens when Cisco is around. 

Cisco comes to her one evening when everyone’s gone home and Harry’s retreated to whatever cot he sleeps on. He hugs her, soft and warm as always, and she lets him lean on her. “I love you,” he mumbles in her ear. 

“I love you too,” Caitlin says. “Always.”

“I think I love Harry.”

Caitlin laughs, tugging gently on a strand of his hair. “I could’ve told you that, dear.”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Cisco hiccups, and Caitlin’s shoulder abruptly feels damp. She stiffens, slipping her arm around him and tucking him up close to her. He’s half sitting in her lap, face pressed into her sweater as she strokes his back. Her other hand remains in his hair as she squeezes him. She’s been with Cisco long enough to know what he needs when he gets like this. She compresses his chest as best she can in their awkward position, not saying anything but humming a little so he can feel the vibrations. He’s clutching at her shoulders as he begins to sob. 

Caitlin can’t do anything but wait it out, wait for Cisco to calm down as he makes himself nearly sick. The sobs wracking his frame die down eventually, and he extricates himself from Caitlin’s lap slowly, easing himself to the floor. His face is  _ wrecked,  _ red and blotchy as anything, and Caitlin wordlessly offers him a tissue. He blows his nose loudly, tossing the used tissue somewhere near a trash can and leans against Caitlin’s leg. His face is still damp and flushed, but his breathing is more rhythmic and deep as he tries not to start hyperventilating again. Caitlin brushes fingers over his shoulders gently. 

“What’s wrong, dear?” she asks softly. 

He shrugs miserably. “I just . . . don’t know what to do. Harry’s going to go back to his earth and I’ll probably never see him again and he had a wife and I think he’s straight and . . . and I’m going to miss him.” 

Caitlin shakes her head. She knows that Cisco often misses social cues, so she’ll point it out for him. “Cisco, I think anyone with eyes can tell he’s into you. If you like him, if you  _ want  _ him,  _ go for it _ . You know you have my blessing and my support.”

Cisco chews on his lip as Caitlin’s warm hands smooth over his scalp soothingly. “I don’t think he knows about . . . y’know. Me being trans.” 

Oh.  _ That _ . “I don’t think Harry’s really the type to care.” Cisco shrugs again, so Caitlin gently cups his chin and guides his gaze to meet hers. “Listen to me, dear. Harry likes you. You can do whatever you think is best with that knowledge, but believe me, he won’t be turned off by something like what’s in your pants.”

Finally Cisco nods. “Okay,” he says raggedly. “Okay.” He grasps her hand in his own, rubbing his cheek against it like a cat. Caitlin smiles at him. 

“Why don’t you invite him to dinner?” 

“Can we do it at your apartment? I think . . . he might have some misconceptions about us.” 

Caitlin agrees easily. “Sounds good. Better to square those away before he gets any weird ideas about threesomes.”

Cisco makes a face. “No offence, Cait, but I don’t think I could be paid to sleep with you. It would just be . . . weird.” 

  
“God, yeah.” When Cisco submits to her, it isn’t a sexual thing. It’s Cisco needing to let go, needing an anchor to bring him back down to earth. Sometimes that includes pain, sometimes it’s just Caitlin giving him orders and guiding him, hand in his hair and him on his knees, until he can breathe again, but it never ends in sex or orgasm. 

So, just like that, Harry is invited to dinner with Cisco and Caitlin. He shows up at the door dressed in slightly nicer jeans than usual, carrying a bottle of wine. 

Cisco is seated at the table. He visibly perks up when Caitlin answers the door, coming to take Harry’s coat and the wine. 

“Hey.” Harry nods in greeting, a slight smile forming when Cisco greets him with his boundless energy. 

“Hey! How are you? You look nice. Not that you don’t normally look nice, because you do . . .” Cisco trails off. “Well, uh, why don’t you come sit down? Caitlin’s almost done cooking.” 

Caitlin smiles. “Yeah, food will be done in just a bit. Can I get you something to drink?”

Harry shakes his head as Cisco guides him to the table. “I’m good, thanks.” 

Cisco is fidgeting in place, a lock of hair twisted around his finger as he waits for food. Harry takes mercy on him by asking about a project the two were working on and Caitlin finishes cooking easily. She serves dinner over a quiet conversation about compact power sources and takes a seat at the heat of the table. The trio dig in, and after a few minutes Caitlin decides that it’s time enough.

“Cisco,” she begins. He looks over at her with those dark, deep eyes. “Why did you invite Harry over?”

He swallows. “Right. Um, okay . . .”

Harry snorts. “Is this an intervention?”

“Don’t be a dick, god. I’m . . . I really like you, okay? I want to . . . take you on dates and do sappy things, alright?” Cisco snaps, before flushing. “That . . . wasn’t how I meant to say that.”

One of Harry’s eyebrows climbs his forehead. “ _ What?  _ Aren’t you dating Snow, here?”

Caitlin smoothly steps in. “That’s why we invited you over. Cisco is hopelessly lost on you, and you have this . . . misconception.”

“What misconception? Are you two open or something?”

“We’re not romantic. Cisco’s my partner, not my boyfriend. He’s my dearest friend, but we’re not dating or having sex,” she says matter of factly. Cisco nods. 

“I’m autistic. I think you know that, right? I have . . . problems with processing things. Caitlin sometimes, uh, spanks me or orders me around, but it’s just to help ground me.” Cisco’s hands are moving as he speaks, one hand gesturing vaguely and the other still playing with his hair. It’s why he grew it out, Cisco had told her once. It was a stim subtle enough he could pass for neurotypical. 

Harry nods. “I get it. She’s your domme, but she’s not your  _ lover _ .” 

Cisco nods emphatically. “Yes! Exactly.” Harry leans back, an intrigued look on his face. 

“If we were together, would you want me to dom you?” 

“If you’re comfortable with that, then . . . yeah, I would like that. But I won’t give up Caitlin. She helps me when it’s all too much, has for much longer than you’ve been around.” Cisco’s issues with processing extended to his senses, especially his hearing. There were times he couldn’t understand words at all and times when the softest sounds were too much for him to deal with. Caitlin had seen some of Cisco’s lowest moments. 

“Believe me, Ramon, I have no intention of splitting you two up. Some things work fine in pairs. And, for the record, I’d be fine with acting as your dom. It’s been a  _ long  _ while, but . . . I . . .  _ care  _ about you.” Harry spits the last words like they burn his throat. Caitlin can’t help but laugh. 

“God, you two,” she says fondly. 

Cisco smiles at her, genuine and bright, lightened by the knowledge that yes, Harry  _ does  _ like him. “You love me,” he sing-songs. 

“I’m not sure. You  _ do  _ think the Tenth Doctor is the best. That’s grounds for a friendship dissolution,” she teases. 

After that, the rest of dinner is relaxed, comfortable. If Caitlin pretends she doesn’t see Harry and Cisco’s hands inching closer together until they’re holding hands across the table, then that’s her business. When they finish eating and she clears the dishes, she deliberately leaves the water running. If they need anything, they’ll call for her, and she doesn’t need to know everything about Cisco’s new relationship. She’s just happy for him. 

Finally, she hugs Cisco goodbye and grins at Harry. “Goodnight, guys. See you tomorrow.” 

Harry nods. “Goodnight, Snow.” He leans in to kiss Cisco chastely but firmly, and Cisco melts into it. “Goodnight, Ramon.”

Cisco rolls his eyes. “You’re my boyfriend, you can call me by my first name.”

Thus begins an argument between the two idiots as they leave in which Harry insists that no, they are not  _ boyfriends.  _

“God, you’re such a stick in the mud,” Caitlin hears Cisco cry as she shuts the door behind them. 

When she goes to bed that night, she goes with a soft, warm curl of hope in her chest that everything will turn out alright and the knowledge that if any couple could figure out interdimensional long distance dating, it would be her best friend and his definitely-not-boyfriend. There’s also the fact that Caitlin is a  _ doctor _ and can kill Harry without anyone ever knowing if she needs to, but in her opinion that’s neither here nor there. She has faith in Harry’s ability to not fuck this up.

(And if the weird feeling she had about Harry hiding something gets proven right in his confession about stealing Barry’s speed, then there are worse things. At least he admitted it before it got out of hand.)

**Author's Note:**

> this is not beta'ed. sorry for any errors. uhhh please leave a comment if you enjoyed it!!


End file.
